In a perfect world, your wedding would proceed without a hitch. No bridesmaids grumping about their dress, no embarrassing toasts, and absolutely no cake wrecks. And when we pick our flower girl and ring bearer, we imagine their adorable, angelic faces as they toddle down the aisle. But the reality is sometimes petrified flower girls abandon their baskets and hightail it out of there, or a ring bearer plops down mid-aisle and expresses his displeasure…loudly. While it may be funny to your guests, you’d probably rather things move smoothly on to the main event. So when you choose your flower girl and ring bearer, make certain to follow a few steps to ensure a smooth ceremony.

Misery Loves Company

You may be tempted to choose a matched pair of ring bearer and flower girl by selecting siblings or close relatives. However, remember if weddings can bring out the worst in adults, kids are no different. Ask yourself how well these two get along in the real world. Do they play nicely and look out for each other? Or do they usually end of squabbling over the slightest thing? Does one bully the other? Being onstage is no insurance that children who tend to bicker are going to call a truce. In fact, an audience and all that excitement may make it worse. So be sure to choose two children who genuinely seem to like each other.

Stage Fright

No matter how much we want a special child to be a part of our big day, it’s not fair to them if you don’t first consider their personality. Their enthusiasm on being asked to join the wedding party is no indication of how well they can handle the task. Remember, a child responds mostly to the excitement of your voice, so you’ll get a happy “Yes!” from them whether you ask, “Do you want to be my flower girl?” as, “Want to help me fill out my taxes?” So, ensure success by choosing a child who is not very shy, who enjoys attention, and who has an overall even-keel temperament.

Practice, Practice, Practice

One way to avoid a ring bearer or flower girl from freezing or bolting is to prepare them. Don’t wait until the wedding rehearsal to show them what is expected. Whatever you do, though, make the practice into something fun rather than like work. Give them lots of praise, and provide an audience to do the same, so they become adjusted to many eyes being on them. You’ll be doing a favor not just for yourself, but for a child who may not fully understand what will be required of them.

Hedge Your Bets

Remember in the end, they’re just children. You should expect the unexpected. For instance, in the case of the ring bearer, consider his duty symbolic. Though tungsten wedding bands may survive even the roughest of treatment, the last thing you want are your wedding rings lost somewhere in the crowd or damaged. Use fake rings on the ring bearer’s pillow, and entrust your real wedding bands to your honor attendants. Also, consider having an adult walk the flower girl and ring bearer down the aisle. The presence of an adult may help the children feel secure and curb any potential misbehavior.

When in doubt, remember a ring bearer or flower girl are not requirements for your wedding. But by following the above steps, there is no reason you can’t successfully include the special children in your life in your important day.

About the Author: Tom Larson is an Expert Jeweler at LarsonJewelers.com. They sell cutting-edge tungsten rings including tungsten wedding bands. Discover classic styles mixed in with fresh and experimental designs. For more information please visit www.larsonjewelers.com/.